I'm back.
Every day at least once I think of something to post. But somehow I never make it to the computer. Part of it is that my desk is uncomfortable, or rather my chair. Since the move, an area rug has my chair leaning to the right, which wouldn’t be that bad- except that it is. It so fucking is that bad. But rather than move the entire room around to fix the rug, I just avoid the computer all together.
The second distraction I have is a little box called Tivo. Weeds, South Park, Top Chef, Project Runway, Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Who, House, How it’s Made, and Made in America are all t.v. shows that contribute to my blog absenteeism. And don’t get me started on Netflix.
With that said here is a top 10 list of things I meant to write about in the past month or so:
10. Sidewalkfest. This year was a blast! We started off with the Rascal reminding me that the ONLY reason he volunteered was to make me happy. But by the end of the weekend he was talking about getting a hotel room in the city next year so we don’t have to drive home drunk every night. I think he’s hooked.
9. Angelbaby’s Deadly Bike Ride. Angelbaby who is 7 was grounded for the first time a couple weeks ago. Her offense? Riding her bike on a busy road. At dusk. Without a helmet. Or proper reflectors. Yea, I was beside myself to say the least. The Rascal reminded me that it is just the beginning. There is still sneeking out and boys to look forward to.
8. Work. Business has picked up but the owner is in the middle of some personal things. So the next person in command is in a constant state of panic. Which wouldn’t be that bad if she wasn’t hell bent on driving me crazy.
7. Back on the Mood Swing Pill Again. In my search for a new birth control pill I read somewhere that birth control pills don’t make you gain weight, they make your fat cells expand. To the doctor and/or team of doctors that came up that jewel of pricelessness I have but one thing to say- Fuck. You.
6. A Sad Note on Babies. All of the “breeders,” as the Rascal lovingly refers to them, have had their babies. Three healthy baby boys and one very unlucky little girl that did not make it past a few weeks. Trisomy 18 they called it, a chromosome disorder with no cure. I felt like an asshole for not going to the funeral but I was so freaked out I didn’t think I could be any consolation to the family. Consequently, any trace of baby fever that may have otherwise flourished was completely stamped out.
5. What ever happened to The Sifl and Olly Show? Seriously.
4. The Rascal Forgot My Birthday. For-got. I know, I know- last year I promised to throw everyone a big party for my 30th birthday but I just wasn’t feeling it. However, I didn’t think my birthday would be forgotten by my live in lover. I WAS WRONG.
2. My Crazy Grandmother had a Stoke. Maw maw Dot is what we call her to her face. But for the longest time my friends thought her name was “My Crazy Grandmother.” She is my only living grandparent and between her severe paranoia and her lack of driving skills I am pleasantly surprised she has made it to the ripe old age of 83. On a scale of 1 to 10 her stroke would be about a 7. With a little physical therapy she should regain everything, with the exception of her car keys.
1. The Great Paint Disagreement. When I moved in with the Rascal, none of my furniture made the cut. My bedroom suite was too feminine so it went into Angelbaby’s room. My bed was too small for the both of us. My dining table wasn’t as new and the Rascal’s table. My loveseat with dual recliners won’t fit in the living room with the Rascal’s existing furniture. In fact, other than a few framed posters and paintings, my desk and matching bookcase are the only things in sight that would suggest I moved in. I feel like I have compromised. So I absolutely refuse to paint every wall in the house a different bold color. I would rather not paint at all. Despite the fact that almost all of the walls in the house are still the same lovely shade of peach that was chosen long before the Rascal moved in circa 4 years ago.