The Devil Made Me Do It!
Last Wednesday was such a big day for me it has taken me this long to get around to writing about it. I started the day by dressing up. Normally I dress down because my job is pretty messy but a girl gets tired of looking like a Wal-Mart shopper. For lunch I went over to the Birmingham Botanical Gardens to catch the last of the cherry trees in full bloom. I wish I had my camera.
After work I took Angelbaby to Rib City because I didn’t want to ruin my good day by being frustrated in the kitchen. Just as my waitress was bringing out my pork sandwich I get a call from Tori. “Guess who’s opening for Ministry?” “I give up.” “AARON!” “No way.” “Yes.”
In the middle of discussing the specifics of our friend drunk-Aaron opening for Ministry, I let her go to answer a call from The Rascal. “I’m going to Russia for free!” was the first thing I heard. “RUSSIA? When?” “This summer.” “How LONG are you staying?” “A week.” After I was clear on the fact that he was not leaving me for a mail-order bride I let him go so I could eat.
Wow, a boy I kissed is going to open for Ministry and my man is going to Russia for a free vacation. Good day huh?
Not so much.
Picture it- Irish is now at home in her favorite pink Old Navy pj bottoms. Angelbaby is still up finishing her homework. And I get another call. It’s the Rascal. Out on the town. He stopped off at the local pub to have a drink to celebrate his good news and at this point he has decided to play a game I like to refer to as the taming of the shrew. Where as the part of the shrew is played by yours truly Irish Geisha. There is only one rule and it is as follows: No matter what the Rascal does or says, I am to trust him completely.
This is not the first time I played the game. I am sure it will not be the last. But further explanation on the subject will have to be deferred as it was not the game specifically that turned my day sour. While playing the game the Rascal mentioned going to Hooters. Like clockwork I gave my stock reply “YOU STAY AWAY FROM THOSE HOOTERS WHORES!” And with that statement in play, the only choice before him was to in fact Go Directly to Hooters (Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200.)
So he got off the phone to pay his tab and the next call I got the Rascal was sitting in Hooters. “Is your computer on?” It was. “ Go to imdb.com and see what was the first movie that Harry Potter kid starred in.” I didn’t ask why, the Rascal often calls me for information when he is away from his computer. “Who are you arguing with?” I say. “Look up blah, blah, blah- I’m not arguing with anyone.” I gave him the second answer “Then why do you need to know this crap?” “I’m at Hooter’s trivia.” I asked him if the other bloggers were there and his reply was “No baby, I’m at the good Hooters.” The good Hooters he says, implying that such a place exists.
Well, as it turns out the other bloggers were there. HD called me after he got home. I was sure he had recognized the Rascal and was calling to chastise me for feeding the Rascal answers. Not the case. I ended up selling myself out and to make matters worse, I laughed about it to his face because I didn’t realize that he was actually angry.
He demanded a public apology and a wing party or else he was going to remove me from the combloggerator. Who knew HD was an advocate of extortion? It was truly upsetting. Even though he caved like Richard Scrushy’s Empire, I would still like to apologize to HD and to all of the bloggers for their loss. And offer my only excuse- the devil made me do it. And by devil- you know who I mean.