Next Christmas
If you were to ask me, I would have no problem telling you how beautiful I am. Hell, I’ll tell you even if you don’t ask. In fact, on more than one occasion I have ended a conversation with “…why are you laughing? I’m totally hot.” It isn’t that I don’t own a mirror. I do. And I am not under some delusion that I would actually make the cover of Sports Illustrated. But I spent the first 18 years of my life surrounded by a family that constantly reminded me about how pretty I would be if I would only loose weight. My entire youth was spent thinking my life would suddenly be wonderful if I could just shed 30lbs.
As you may imagine, when I did loose the weight, I came to the harsh conclusion that my life was exactly the same. So with that lesson under my belt, I don’t feel too bad about not loosing all of the weight I gained by having Angelbaby. (7 years ago) Of course I want to be healthy, but I am not about to walk around feeling ugly because I can’t get rid of 20 vanity pounds. And even if I never get small enough to wear a bikini again, I’m going to wear one anyway- because fuck all!
With that said…
I do not care how golden your beaux is, and no matter what he actually says, no man wants his best girl to pork-up. Or so I thought. I did not post much over the Christmas Holidays because I was busy trying to get the new .com going but I could not go without letting everyone know that my boyfriend, my precious precious republican Rascal, bought me…
AN ICE CREAM MAKER!
Yes, before you ask- there was a sparkley, heart shaped, pendant, on a chain, wrapped in a velvet box that he brought all the way from New Orleans on one of his post-Katrina trips. But did I mention the ICE CREAM MAKER? I looked at him as if to say, “Do you realize how big my ass is going to get?” And before I could actually say anything, he said to me (with a devilish grin on his face) “Next year I’ll get you a membership to the gym.” In my youth I would have been angry that he dared mention the gym. But now that I am older and wiser my first thought was, Awe, he’s already thinking about next year.