Pillow Book

So, I haven't seen the episode of The Chapelle Show where Wayne Brady almost has to choke a bitch. But it has been haunting me for months now. I first heard clips of it on a site I found through BlinkerFluid.(click 'choke a bitch') And several people have re-enacted it for me. I even have cable now, but I never know when to watch. Really what has been buggin me the most about it is that fact that Wayne Brady reminds me of my highschool prom date. No my prom date was not a black comedian. It was actually a double date. And purely by accident we were all dressed in black and white, my date and I were white (still are) and the other couple was black. So of course that was our first topic of discussion for the night. It was the most fun because we were all just friends. And even though it was the first time I had met the other girl, we bonded quickly when we both realized, at about the same time, that the jokes from the guys-had been rehearsed. And poorly executed anyway. So yea, back to Wayne Brady. My prom date looked just like Drew Cary, glasses and all. He even had the same voice-type. And more often than not, he cracked me up. Still don't get the connection? I never dated my prom date besides the prom. He asked, but for some reason unknown to even me I turned him down. I thought my prom date was hot, and if I ever get a chance with the real Drew, Wayne Brady will definately have to choke the bitch that gets in my way!

Posted by Irish Geisha at 09:35 PM | Permalink

Well another birthday has come and gone. Yesterday ended my 27th year. If I were a rock star I would have made it through the jinxed year. Sure, I'm no rock star, but looking back I have experienced more this past year than I would have liked-truth be known. Here's to not looking back! So, what did I do to celebrate? I'll just say it ended with a scream and a drink. Maybe tori will elaborate.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 08:16 PM | Permalink

I made some new friends this weekend. Last night after angelbaby went to bed, I took off to nhp's house to give him a hair cut. (no I don't leave my child home alone, we're staying with my parents currently.) I don't know why people ask me to cut they're hair. I'm not good at it. I think mostly it's because I have scissors and it's free. I'm certainly not a professional but between cuts, perms, and color jobs; I'm almost sure I have logged enough hours for a license or something. Anyway after the cut I watched local programming with him and Oscar for a while then I headed home. On my way home, I decided to to stop at Al's deli for some hummus and a piece of burma. I'm standing in line minding my own business when I notice I'm surrounded by 3 dread locked cuties: a blond, a brunette, and an asian/black mix. They couldn't have been older than 23. Then from behind, this kid that looked like the star from Entourage started crowding me and talking like I was someone he knew. Sidenote: I am not a very social person. I mean sure if I'm drinking, I'm everybody's friend. But otherwise I won't even speak to an acquaintance when I'm out unless they speak first. So I'm trying not to be rude, because he seems like a nice kid. Then all the dread heads start talking to me and I realize 'mr. leaning on my back' is with them. They're all asking me about the menu because they had never been there before. I could feel the anxiety welling up like a river waiting to escape with rage over the top of the damn. Here I am in an old navy stripy shirt, birkies, no make up and curls that I didn't bother to fix and this kid wants to know "where's the party at tonight?" I smiled and politely said "Not at my house." "good answer" was his reply. What I was really thinking was "dear Jesus, if you let me live through this I will never..." I just new they were all fixin' to pull out gats and start unloading until every wallet in the place was in their possession. Then a ray of light peeked out from behind this dark cloud of apprehension. Blondie says to Mixed "well if your not going to eat then go out to the car and roll a blunt" Never in my life have I been so happy that someone was on drugs. All at once I understood that they really did just want food. Just like me. I don't know if I'll every get over my phobia of meeting people or talking to strangers. It's not like there was an incident that I could work through with a therapist. My mom says I've alway been that way.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 09:16 PM | Permalink

I know, I know, I turned the comments on but no one has access to comment yet. "Sneeky fucker don't ya think?" (ewan mcgregor) I'm working on it. I have added an email link on my profile. That will have to do for now. "So tired, need sleepy" (david spade)

Posted by Irish Geisha at 10:45 PM | Permalink

...of the silvery moon... While I'm in the mood. I thought I might ramble a bit about my weekend. First thing first, I'd like to give a shout out to monkfisher. Welcome to the bloggernet. Friday -I went to the last of the Sidewalk parties for this year. Clever how they saved the handing out of the volunteer t-shirts until half way through the party. Otherwise I wouldn't have even gone. I didn't sign up to be social, that was just one of the unfortunate benefits. Over-all I must say that I did enjoy the experience and I plan on doing it again next year. After the party,I met tori and ben at the Plaza for apparently a night of being beaten at game after game of pool. After a while some of ben's friends showed up. One guy I hadn't seen since my marching band days. The other, I met for the first time at the Plaza the weekend of the filmfest. I find him to be quite interesting. But I am glad he is not interested in me because both times we have seen each other out, I was giggly-fall down drunk. And what's that saying? I cannot be associated with anyone that would associate themselves with me. Or something like that. Saturday was a sham. I told tori I would meet her at some fallfest thing in the Lakeview District around 1 or 2 pm. I lost track of time and about 6pm I called to let her know I was on my way. By then she was at Mrs. Hutton's house scarfing spaghetti. We left and went to Bailey's then to the Plaza. Then back to Bailey's. Then to NHP's house. Then we made a run for the border for some late night heartburn. And "home again home again gigedie gig." I was tucked in save and sound by midnight.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 10:32 PM | Permalink

I almost decided to stop posting this weekend. I never intended my stories to be shovels for digging up bones. Some of them were an earnest attempt to exorcise ghosts from my past that still haunt me, I guess that is a tricky business. But for now I shall continue. Because, wait a minute, I don't need a reason. And anyone that doesn't like it can feel free to click away! I don't know when, if ever, I'll make the comment section available. For anyone reading this that doesn't understand the Fiona Apple (limp) post- skip it, it's not important anyway.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 09:53 PM | Permalink

You wanna make me sick;
You wanna lick my wounds,
Don’t you, baby?
You want the badge of honour
when you save my hide
But you’re the one in the way
Of the day of doom, baby
If you need my shame
to reclaim your pride
And when I think of it,
my fingers turn to fists
I never did anything to you, man
But no matter what I try
You’ll beat me with your bitter lies
So call me crazy, hold me down
Make me cry; get off now, baby-
It won’t be long till you’ll be
Lying limp in your own hand
You feed the beast I have within me
You wave the red flag,
baby you make it run run run
Standing on the sidelines,
waving and grinning
You fondle my trigger,
then you blame my gun!
And when I think of it,
my fingers turn to fists
I never did anything to you, man
But no matter what I try
You’ll beat me with your bitter lies
So call me crazy, hold me down
Make me cry; get off now, baby-
It won’t be long till you’ll be
Lying limp in your own hand

Words and Music: Fiona Apple

Posted by Irish Geisha at 01:32 AM | Permalink

I read a post by HemisphereDancer about his first trip to France. And I have to admit my first response was jealousy. I mean while currently it wouldn't be my first choice if I were traveling abroad, it was the first country I remember being interested in as a child. And French was the first foreign language I attempted. HemisphereDancer has also posted some marvelous pictures that almost rekindled my love for the French, until, I had a flash back from 1995. Tori and I were spending the summer with her father in Orlando that year. He is a Florida resident and got us a discount on tickets to the Universal Studios Theme Park. So there we were standing in line for the Back to The Future ride when we heard the most interesting conversation. In French. A mother and her daughter, chatting away while we hung on every incomprehensible word. (I only had one year of high school French) Then it's our turn on the ride and we pile into the simulator sitting just next to la femme et la femme petite. The door closes behind us and we are completely enclosed. A smell that we had not previously noticed could no longer escape. The smell that was obviously coming from the French lady and her daughter. An armpit odor like I have never smelled before nor since. We were panic stricken as we realized that there was no way we could hold our breath for the duration of the ride. Some may say, how uncultured! Every body knows the French go natural. I can't speak for Tori but I was 18 and though I knew about the armpit hair thing, I did not know that going natural meant that a beautiful, 3o something, drop dead gorgeous, blond woman could ever smell like rotting flesh. I don't know how long the ride actually lasted, 5 min, 10 min, an eternity. And I don't remember anything about the actual ride itself. To be quite honest, I had forgotten the whole thing until I read the afore mentioned post. I can't help but to laugh at the whole thing. Maybe I will get a chance to visit France one day. But not in the summer, and I certainly won't subject myself to any enclosed spaces while I tour.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 08:42 PM | Permalink

Look out Britney Spears, here comes Angelbaby! Went to the pumpkin patch today. Angelbaby's dance school was performing along with the Alabama Clogging Twins as seen on Jay Leno. It took a while for her to get the hang of it but, she'll be on the Mickey Mouse Club before long I just know it! After that it's anybody's call, she could become the next Christina Aguilera. Or maybe she'll just be a girl who once took an embarrassing picture in a cheesy dance costume. A picture that her mother shows to every prospector that ever crosses our threshold for a date. But not until she's 30! Until then, danza danza fanciulla gentile...

Posted by Irish Geisha at 07:43 PM | Permalink