Pillow Book

I cannot believe I have written this much without having made mention of my friend MK. I met her while working at Bellsouth and though she is about 25 yrs my senior, we have become great friends.
I made mention last post that I feel a nervous breakdown coming on. I have come to a point in my life, a crossroad if you will that has left me dumbfounded. I know, I know-it doesn't take much.

Anyway here's the what-I have no idea what to do with my life. That is, I have plenty of things I would like to do but, every path I take seems to lead me further and further away from my goals. I just spent the past 2 yrs in a relationship that did not go where I thought it was headed. Before that, a year wasted in the same manner on a different man. And before that, a divorce that was predicted by (seemingly) everyone but me. It has been my decision to end each of these relationships because they weren't what I wanted my life to be.

Every time I get down about my life, MK always cheers me up by saying "Look at where you are and compare it to where you've been." And she's right, I would never ask to go back to any age I've already been. I wouldn't gamble by changing any decision I've made, because I know that things could have been worse. But what's killing me is the suspense of "What Next."

Song of the day: Float On by Modest Mouse

Posted by Irish Geisha at 02:20 PM | Permalink

This has been a very long weekend. Starting Friday morning with a job interview.(I start Oct 4) Then sushi dinner with my most recent ex. It went ok-all things considered. I'm not sure if he just wants to be friends or thinks we can work things out but I told him I would not be moving back in with him and it didn't seem to faze him. Saturday, I was a volunteer at the local film fest. Tech crew. The tech crew only works if something goes wrong with the equipment. So for most of the day I walked around in a walkie talkie head set watching movies for free. Ate free food from Zoe's and the restaurant G, I think. And got free passes to the after party at the B&A Warehouse. Free Beer! Normally, well since my divorce, I have a self inflicted 2 beer max and only one beer when I'm around certain people. It helps cut down on the jackass factor. But there was free beer while it lasted at the after party. So after about 3 beers, we (tori and I) were off to the Plaza with some people we met up with at the B&A. There I had a 4th beer and thus became the loud girl at the bar. I guess it could have been worse, I could have been the redneck middle aged lady sporting a spandex skirt and a frizzled mullet. She was at the pool table next to ours. Anyhoo, we met some of liesl's neighbors. We supposedly went to the same highschool but I only recognized 2 out of 3. We spent some time discussing Liesl's boobs. Apparently, she was topless in the indie flick Hide and Creep which kicked off the film fest on Thursday at Sloss Furnaces-I did not attend. Then I lost a game of pool to tori. No! she didn't run the table, I prematurely sunk the 8 ball. And that was that. I got home at 4a.m. Sunday was for sleep. Stay tuned, I feel a nervous break down coming on.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 08:41 PM | Permalink

It has been brought to my attention that certain folks, after reading my last post, are under the impression that I think I'm perfect and I don't mind saying so. I guess I should have included a disclaimer in the post script. I simply did not include my faults because they weren't part of the story and at no time have I made any claim that I use my powers for good instead of evil. For further proof of my incompetentance (in case you didn't read all about my Bellsouth endeavor) I would be more than happy to post a list of virtues that I do not possess as counter to my last post however, I am not sure I am allowed that much space on this free blog.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 01:00 PM | Permalink

I am so very bored with life at the moment. You'd think I would have enjoyed being unemployed for the past 10 months. But being without a job has just about driven me mad! Don't get me wrong, I have mad domestic skills. I can cook, and not just grits and eggs. I can make a risotto that would make any Italian slap his momma. And cakes and candies are my specialty. But that's not all, I can sew just about anything with a machine or without. I have a green thumb, and I have a vast knowledge of which cleaner to use on what stains. And if that wasn't enough to keep me busy I could always surf the net on the computer I built by myself. Or create a cartoon in 3DS max. And for the first time since I learned the stained glass craft, I even had a place to set up my glass grinder and work bench out of reach from Angelbaby. Sounds like the good life right? So why couldn't I enjoy myself? Because no self respecting libber can live on someone else's dollar. Sure I had my savings and for six months my "pennies" added up to nearly 1,000 bucks a month but it just wasn't the same as having a job or being independently wealthy. I wish I didn't feel that way. I'd love to be one of those girls that just takes and takes never caring where it comes from. My mom never told me who I should be but watching her from an early age I learned that you make your own money, spend it how you want and anybody that doesn't like it can get the fuck... I can't lie though, my daddy did spoil me rotten. Maybe that's why I'm so conflicted. Yea, that's it! It must be my parents fault!

Posted by Irish Geisha at 09:56 PM | Permalink

Dave has requested that I write something juicy about my life involving "gas powered vibrators and sasquatch porn." Sorry to disappoint but there's been none of that. I will however punish you with the story of how I came to be unemployed. Bellsouth, it was the best of jobs it was the worst of jobs. So a couple years ago I was a substitute daycare teacher.(Yea this is going some where) And a manager at the local phone company (my moms bestfriend) told me to get my butt down to some second rate temp agency because they were supplying temps for her department and they needed more people. It was a done deal so I started right away in the HR dept scanning personnel files. For some reason, becoming a paperless society involves a lot of paperwork. So the temp job that was supposed to last 3 months lasted about a year. Then a regular employee left and I lucked up and got hired. It was great until a year later when cut backs came and I was the lowest totem on the seniority pole. Next after me was a lady with 10yrs service. I thought I was safe because there weren't any cuts in my dept. But thanks to the union contract two ladies in another department that were cut, were allowed to bump me and ms. 10yrs out of a job. That should have been the end of this story. But, lucky me, they were hiring in the sales dept and after a few assessment tests I got hired into THE WORST HELL OF MY LIFE.(to date) Basically if you owned a small business and needed to call Bellsouth for ANY reason you had a 1 in 600 chance of talking to me. No matter what you actually called for my job was to sell you something. I had no idea that the unwritten job description involved sucking up and becoming popular. It would be suffice to say I do not have the personality for sales.(or sucking up) Hence the hell of never making my quota. I lasted 13 months which is a long time in the sales world so obviously I wasn't completely lost either. After being written up several times for failing to convince hundreds of people they needed extra phone lines to run their businesses, I was offered 2 weeks pay plus unused vacation in exchange for a letter of resignation. Now had I been a good little girl and kissed ass properly the sales faerie would have mysteriously arranged extra credit on my sales report. But prove it. I lost my job knowing others that were favored in the office couldn't sell crack to a junkie much less phone service to business owners. The end, right? Right. Yesterday, I ran into a girl that worked with me at hellsouth. She took the same retirement package as me and told me that a week later they fired 7 people in one day including one of the top sales people. I can't tell you how great that made me feel! Not because others are now suffering but firing a top sales person(who didn't have many friends) proves (in my mind at least) that I'm not a screw up. And I don't kiss ass regardless of the pay check. Office politics can be cruel, especially if you don't realize it's not what you know or even what you can do, it is definitely WHO you know. Just a footnote: I have been in tears writing this, painful subject? No, every time the spell check gets to Bellsouth it offers "Bullshit" as an alternative. -No lie.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 05:28 PM | Permalink

This weekend has been a complete waste. Yesterday was ok I guess. Angelbaby and I lounged by the pool all morning. I pointed out some large mushrooms that were growing in the grass and said "I bet a lot of faeries could live under there" without skipping a beat she replied "I didn't even know any faeries lived around here." Ah, the mind of a 5 yr old. Later Tori came over with her bouncing baby boy and the kids fought while we watched Cribs. Puns are optional. Today was well, just a day. So I guess I'll end with a list. 5 things you should never leave home without:

1. lip protection i.e. chapstick, lip gloss, etc.
2. gel pen-identity theft prevention
3. hanky- because you never know
4. mirror-so your not the last to know
5. I.D.- so they know what to write on the toe tag

Note: No, cell phone should not have been on the list. I admit that I do have one but I still believe they are overrated!

Posted by Irish Geisha at 09:22 PM | Permalink

Went to Punk Rock Bob's house tonight. It was supposed to be a big party but only two other couples showed up. I'm not sure why I was invited. And even though I've known everyone there for years, I still felt like I didn't belong. For some reason when I'm around this circle of friends (most of which I have known since high school or longer) I start running my mouth and pissing people off. However tonight I tried not to show my ass too much. Just had the one beer. I felt weird about the whole situation and looking through Bob's photo albums didn't help matters. I don't know, something about being friends with my ex-husband just doesn't set

Posted by Irish Geisha at 01:05 AM | Permalink

At the risk of gloating all I have to say is I have not been without power or cable.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 06:23 PM | Permalink

I had fully intended a follow-up post to the tree of life, to examine the possibility that one book could change a persons life or a relationship at the least. I have had a change of heart. I decided to move out instead, leaving the book behind. You may ask how someone could just read half a book and stop. Never knowing the end. The answer is simple. Just leave it right where you found it. Song of the Day: Dry Your Eyes by The Streets

Posted by Irish Geisha at 11:51 PM | Permalink

Went to the artwalk last night with tori to see N.H.Puckett. Better know to us as Heath. We have been watching him draw naked women for over 10 years and now he's finally getting some recognition as an abstract painter. A sample of his work is posted at www.birminghamartwalk.com under 2004 participating artists. We also walked around and saw some really great art and some over rated crap. We walked into one studio to get a better look at some really great concept art but we had to leave with a quickness because the place smelled like an armpit. My favorite (well besides Heath's stuff) were the dresses welded out of scrap metal. I think this artist has one of her "dresses" displayed at the Birmingham Museum or at least it was there the last time I went. In other news Dave got a new blog and lost his mind. If anyone knows a good therapist that would be willing to donate some time to the cause, please contact Boxrocker at Dabox.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 01:23 AM | Permalink

I have begun reading a book called "The Mystical Qabalah" by Dion Forture.( Not to be confused with Warwick) Not because it's all the rage in Hollywood or because the Bible just doesn't do it for me. But equally as flippant, it is a sincere effort to better understand my boyfriend. He's always talking about left hand path this, plot it out on the tree that. Frankly, the boy talks a lot and most of his qabalah jargon gets filtered out by my handy dandy "hear what I want to hear" boyfriend filter. So the other day he was going on about having chosen the right hand path and I really didn't want to ask him to explain what the hell he was talking about, trust me a lecture would have ensued. So, I decided fine-I'll have a go. Now, I have to say I'm all about Jesus but my parents were not religious in the least. I remember being six years old and at my own request my mother put me on a church bus to be shuffled off to Sunday school by myself because for what ever reason she didn't want to go. My father never talked about religion except to randomly spout off "Give your heart to Jesus Christ" for no apparent reason. So pretty much I have been uninfluenced by my parents and though I was baptized when I was 19 I'm still pretty open to new concepts. (or new to me anyway) The Gospel- I am on chapter 10 of 27. So far I have learned there is a tree of life that is the "glyph" of all existence. Now like I've said, I'm open. I mean I've seen the movie "Pi," I've read "The Bible Code" by Michael Drosnin. I totally can grasp that the universe is built on a system of numbers. But, whoopity do! It's like telling Neo the matrix does exist, here's a picture of the code. Oh yea, by the by you can control the universe if you figure out how to work the damn thing. I suspect the second half of the book will be dedicated to teaching me exactly how to work the damn thing. Oh Hoorah! I just find it very hard to believe that if some group of chosen Jews- rabbis no less, has knowledge above and beyond the King James Version, that they would feel the urge to share it with whitey white. I mean if said knowledge does exist on earth, and the all mighty wanted everybody to get in on it, don't you think he could have spammed us by now? Anyway, I'm really trying to keep an open mind. My boyfriend swears Qabalah changed his life. I haven't seen the proof. At any rate, he is excited that I'm reading it and convinced it will change my life as well. We shall see.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 08:53 AM | Permalink

So, nothing new to report. Except that my good buddy Dave gave me a long over due phone call. I thought I was dead to him since my relationship with his best friend ended badly over 2.5 years ago. But Dave said he still has love for me. I say this with love and the upmost respect, Dave- POST ALREADY! Anyway I've been thinking about something lately and in an effort to get it out of my mind I thought I would share it with the world. (aka the 2.3 people that read this blog) OK so here goes. I get a lot of questions/comments about my nose ring. I've had it since I was nineteen. Most people want to know if it hurt. Some strangers just want to let me know that they don't normally like them but the one I have is cute. (2mm ball stud) And third, of the most popular comments is " I had my nose pierced but it wouldn't heal so I had to take it out." That comment is often coupled with the disgusted look of jealousy. I tell them that mine wouldn't heal either until it met concrete under 140 pounds of pressure. Actually 140 pounds dropped from 6 ft in the air. But we'll have to come back to that. It all started one night when I was at work (Seattle Connection Cafe). Mr. Caramel Latte showed up for the usual. He always came to the counter with a smile on his face but tonight his eyes were lit up as well. Same chit chat as always-how are you? etc. After we exchanged latte for money, he lingered with something in his hand. He asked if I liked Bush (the band you perv!) Of course I did, it was 1996. Then he said he had tickets to the Goo Goo Dolls/Bush/No Doubt concert at the Boutwell later that night but his friends told him he was too old for that kind of thing. I can't remember anything I said because well- I had been crushing on this guy for the whole 6 months that I had been slinging capuccinos. All I remember is he was tapping those tickets on the counter and starring right into my eyes the whole time we were talking. Oh! yea, and I was about to pass out because in my little 19yr old mind I just knew he was about to ask me to go with him! He asked a couple more questions- "can you get off work?", "do you have someone that can go with you?" then just like that he threw the tickets in the tip jar, said have fun and left. I closed up the shop, called Tori and we got to the auditorium just after No Doubt left the stage. Being the mosh pit junkies that we were, we didn't have to be asked twice by the mammoth redneck guys standing next to us, if they could lift us up for a good crowd serfin' safari. Can you guess what's about to unfold? Yep, I got dropped on my face. All 140 pounds of me from 6 feet in the air hit; solid, nasty as hell, wet- from God only knows what, face to concrete.( I never got the stain out of my shirt) Go ahead, laugh all you want, I've heard all the jokes. Everyone who saw my face starred in horror as I made my way to the ladies room to clean the blood from my nasal jewelry. My face was numb, so Tori and I went back out there and saw the rest of the show. It actually turned out to be a good thing. My nose healed up for good and I haven't had a problem since. Here comes the what if. Now, it is a relevant fact that anyone who has ever tried to play the "what if" game with me has been stopped right in their tracks. Especially boyfriends who were just trying to pick a fight or ask me something without having to ask by saying those two stupid little words what if... It literally makes me angry to even hear someone say those words to me. But in my own head the "what if" demons will not be hushed. And the next day after that concert I couldn't help but wonder, when Mr. Crystal Blue Eyes I mean Mr. Caramel Latte asked if I had someone to go with, What if I said "yea, you." I have seen Caramel Latte a hand full of times since that night. And he has never so much as hinted any feelings for me. I found out where he worked purely by accident one day. And the last time I "ran into" him there he asked if I remembered him. "Of course I do! Say, would you like to go out sometime?" Well, What if I had really said that.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 11:24 AM | Permalink

For those of you too lasy to break out the fry daddy for crispy fries. Here's a new product that will almost completely eliminate the need for those late night trips to the Micky-D's drive thru for fresh, hot, crispy fries. As promised- Ore-Ida, extra crispy Easy Fries. (microwave ready)

1.LIFT Blue tab.
2.TEAR Top off along dotted lines. (SAVE TOP)
3.PLACE Fries beside each other in a single layer.
4.PUT Top on box, silver side down.
5.PUSH Top down into carton flat of fries. (SILVER CRISPING FOIL MUST TOUCH FRIES!)
6.MICROWAVE on high for 4 minutes. (cook time may vary)

And there you have it folks, crispy fries from the microwave. Don't forget the Ketchup!

Posted by Irish Geisha at 01:25 AM | Permalink

If you've ever gone to a bar to see a certain band play I'm guessing you have also spent some time deciding what to wear. Whether it's 5 minutes starring at your open closet or a 45 minute personal fashion show it's something everyone thinks about. Have you wondered what it's like for the band? Yea, me neither- until last night when I was surrounded by what could have passed for the next cast of the surreal life.

My boyfriend's bandmates were here getting ready to play a show for the def-rock crew at Sobo. And after loading up all the equipment and instruments it came to one guy's attention that his bandmate had on an apparently offensive Mickey Mouse shirt. If fact it was so offensive to the other band members that for at least 30 minutes they begged and pleaded with him to turn it inside out. At one point I heard someone say "Dude, I am not walking out on stage if you wear that shirt" reply-"Dude, I'm not turning my shirt inside out. I'm not in f-ing high school anymore." Luckily, I came to the rescue with a 20 year old, bright yellow, Jaguar logo T-shirt that satisfied everyone involved.

My question is this, since when did the right t-shirt make the music sound better? Of course, I didn't have the balls to ask the band. By the by- I'm told the show was a success.

Posted by Irish Geisha at 11:08 AM | Permalink

Ok, so I signed up for this blog thingy- not because I have anything to say really. I mean, I have an average amount of "funny" in my life that may or may not be laughable to the voyeurs out there reading this. Be that as it may, all I really wanted to do was place a few well thought out comments (heckle) on my best friends blog -http://spontaneouslyplanned.blogspot.com/. But being the RAT BASTARD that she is, you have to have an account to post a comment. So here I am.

Stay turned... Next on Irish Geisha: the wonderful new invention Ore-Ida calls Easy Fries!

Posted by Irish Geisha at 06:10 PM | Permalink